It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
