I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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