listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
