I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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