so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
