She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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