i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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