I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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