Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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