wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
