Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
