dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
