So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
