At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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