i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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