You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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