woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
