Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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