Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
