Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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