Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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