I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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