The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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