I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
