I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
