I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
