i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
