At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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