3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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