We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
