Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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