Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
