she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
