dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I AM VODKA MAN
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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