We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
