I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
