I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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