you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
