So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We named our party play list daddy issues
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
