I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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