good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
