my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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