So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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