So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she smelled like a LAN party
either way he was missing a nipple.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
