i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
