somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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