but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
