is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
