He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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