i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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