I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
