belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize