sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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