talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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