i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
try to milk me bitch
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
