I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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