My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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