Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
