im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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