last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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