Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
