i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
