Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
