They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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