I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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