she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
