This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
